Laura and her accomplice obtained engaged on Christmas Day final 12 months. The couple, of their 30s and dwelling in London, hope to marry this December.
Theatre producer Laura — who has a decade’s price of expertise planning occasions and whose title we’ve modified — discovered a venue for her wedding ceremony within the south-east of the UK whose costs she initially thought have been cheap. However then she came upon that she was required to make use of certainly one of their 5 authorised caterers.
After asking all 5 for a quote for 80 visitors, Laura couldn’t imagine how a lot they charged for meals and staffing prices. “For canapés, two programs — a starter and predominant, which have been each sharing platters — one of many quotes I obtained was simply shy of £18,000,” she tells FT Cash, exhibiting us the e-mail. There have been different oddities too: the celebrant the venue advised quoted £1,500, double the value of a close-by registrar Laura discovered herself.
“You simply get taken for a experience,” she says.
£25,625Common value of a UK wedding ceremony in 2025
Getting married is supposed to be a celebration full of affection and pleasure and family and friends. For a lot of {couples}, it’s crucial day of their lives — however it is usually the most costly.
The typical UK wedding ceremony will value £25,625 this 12 months, roughly two-thirds of the median annual wage, in line with on-line portal compareweddinginsurance.org.uk. Many {couples} who marry are below extra monetary pressure throughout that interval — saving for different large bills resembling shopping for a home — with as many as two-thirds turning to presents from household and pals to assist pay for his or her nuptials.
One couple the FT spoke to — who’ve a funds of £30,000 for 115 visitors — stated that even their venue supervisor wasn’t conscious how a lot add-ons resembling photographers and hair and make-up artists value nowadays.
“He runs the venue, however even he wasn’t conscious of how costly a few of the distributors may be,” the groom explains.
So how did the happiest day of your life develop into so costly? And is it solely all the way down to distributors growing costs once they hear the phrase “wedding ceremony” — or are different components at play?
I requested myself these questions final 12 months whereas planning my very own wedding ceremony. As the primary amongst my shut pals and siblings to tie the knot, I had little earlier publicity to the prices. However as I started to place a funds collectively and analysis the typical quantity spent on a marriage, my panic mounted. How may sooner or later value a lot?
I’m not alone. Greater than half of {couples} overshoot their budgets once they get married, in line with wedding ceremony planning web site Hitched. However I couldn’t pinpoint why it value a lot. As soon as I had chosen all of the distributors, I seemed by way of the listing and tried to work out which one was ripping me off — however I struggled.
A part of the issue is the uneven data. Like most individuals I had by no means organised a celebration for 100-odd visitors, full with flowers, a professionally cooked, sit-down meal, booze, a ceilidh band, individuals to serve issues, open bottles, tidy away damaged glass and cease individuals from weeing within the flowerbeds. I had no thought what a good worth for any of those is likely to be.
But when as an alternative this was an extravagant fiftieth, or a piece do, wouldn’t it actually have value as a lot?
Based on Alex Head, founding father of catering firm Social Pantry, you can not actually evaluate a marriage with a company occasion. “There’s a lot personalisation that goes into weddings, and that’s the place prices can are available behind the scenes,” she says.
Hiring a marriage planner might aid you navigate these unsure waters — and plenty of {couples} swear by them — however that’s one other expense so as to add to the listing.
The distributors I spoke with for this text all described the quantity of effort they put into a marriage earlier than the precise day. Caterers talked about excessive overheads, together with premises for the meals to be ready, transport prices and the value of organising a brief kitchen if wanted on the venue.
Photographers stated they spend weeks enhancing 1000’s of photographs down to some a whole bunch which are despatched to the couple; hair and make-up artists say they routinely need to value plans for brides who don’t find yourself choosing them, to not point out the prices of promoting.
“Like a number of self-employed individuals our time goes into creating the enterprise,” say Emma Kingsman and Lauren Spence, co-founders of bridal magnificence firm Spence & Oliver. “It’s simple to suppose we begin [on the day] at 6am and go away at 1pm and that’s it.”
Particular occasions have additionally pushed up costs not too long ago. “Up to now few years the world has been by way of large shift,” says Zoe Burke, editor at Hitched. “We’ve had Covid the place companies couldn’t make any cash for a extremely very long time, the warfare in Ukraine [has] impacted the marriage costume business as a number of wedding ceremony costume manufacturing is completed there. Brexit has been significantly difficult for florists,” she provides.
Then there’s the added stress to get the whole lot excellent. “I get the identical query on a regular basis: ‘Oh, have you ever had any bridezillas?’” says Lori Walker, a make-up artist who works throughout the Lothians and Borders in Scotland. “Effectively, no, I haven’t . . . However the expectations [are high]. It’s like getting ready for Christmas, you don’t get a do-over. When you mess it up, it’s tousled.”
Weddings haven’t at all times been this extravagant. As not too long ago as 20 years in the past, they’d final half a day, with the {couples} leaving for his or her honeymoon that night. Friends can now count on an occasion that may typically happen over a complete three-day financial institution vacation weekend, with dinners, video games, brunches and pool events.
Preparations, too, have snowballed. A hen or stag do within the Nineteen Eighties would normally be dinner with a bunch of choose pals. Now they are often multi-day occasions full of actions, usually abroad and at huge expense.
The explosion of wedding ceremony mania may be seen within the development of the marriage planning guidelines offered by Bride’s journal. In 1959, the journal beneficial that {couples} put aside two months to organize for his or her wedding ceremony, offering them with a guidelines of twenty-two duties to finish. This rose within the Nineties to 12 months of planning and a 44-point guidelines, in line with professors Cele Otnes and Elizabeth Peck of their 2003 paper “Cinderella Goals: The Attract of the Lavish Marriage ceremony”. Marriage ceremony planning web site Hitched presently has a guidelines of 59 duties.
A lot of the expansion of the marriage business within the twentieth century was attributable to “business efforts to commodify love and romance”, in line with economics professors Andrew Francis-Tan and Hugo Mialon of their 2014 research “Diamonds are Endlessly and Different Fairy Tales”.
Engagement rings are instance of this. Diamonds within the early 1900s had far much less intrinsic worth than they do right now. However De Beers’ “Diamonds are Endlessly” promoting marketing campaign within the Nineteen Forties modified all that and, thereafter, the concept males ought to spend three months’ wage on an engagement ring flourished.
Nervousness over the rising value of weddings is a minimum of as outdated. In 1969, the US Look journal ran a canopy function known as “The Marriage ceremony Racket”, on the monetary pitfalls of getting hitched, that includes humorous illustrations by Edward Gorey, the artist, author and costume designer.
Marriage ceremony extra within the US is much more pronounced than within the UK, with its roll-call of additional rituals which have develop into de rigueur, resembling present showers and rehearsal dinners. Two Britons dwelling within the US who spoke to FT Cash stated that they had not too long ago been to weddings that value upwards of $250,000. “The venues are stupidly costly and meals is overpriced,” one stated.
There was nonetheless one thing niggling at me as I went by way of the method of arranging my nuptials, one thing I couldn’t fairly put my finger on on the time — an odd stress underlying all my selections. I now realise that was a creeping feeling that mine and my accomplice’s wedding ceremony would set the tone, and even longevity, of our marriage.
I mustn’t have been shocked by this. “Business promoting has fuelled the norm that spending massive quantities of cash on the marriage is a sign of dedication or is useful for a wedding to achieve success,” wrote Francis-Tan and Mialon. “The final message is that wedding ceremony spending and marriage length are positively correlated.”
In brief, if there may be certainly a marriage “racket”, it appears that evidently many individuals planning a marriage internalise it.
Social media has added rocket gas to this, as an elevated consciousness of “what’s on the market” has pushed expectations larger. “Individuals need one thing interactive, it’s uncommon to have a full three-course, sit-down menu,” Social Pantry’s Head says, giving the instance of a chef assembling and icing a marriage cake in entrance of visitors. “We are sometimes requested to re-create one thing {couples} have seen on Instagram.”
Sentiment usually outweighs virtually, says Louisa Moule, head of gross sales at London-based caterer Rocket Meals. “Social media-fuelled expectations encourage {couples} to decide on extravagant menus with out at all times contemplating the monetary impression,” she provides.
A great instance of that is the impression on internet site visitors after actuality TV star Kourtney Kardashian tied the knot in Might 2022. After the ceremony she wore a customized Dolce & Gabbana gothic-style costume. Searches on Pinterest, a preferred platform for temper board creation, for “gothic wedding ceremony costume” doubled the subsequent day.
As it’s such a cottage business, it’s onerous to generalise throughout all wedding ceremony distributors. Whereas many try to cost costs they suppose are cheap, some have tales of murky pricing and overcharging — which even these with expertise of organising massive occasions can battle with.
“This can be a one-off factor that you just’ll by no means do once more, so that you really don’t know what you’re doing,” says Laura. “Distributors have all the ability.”
However questioning pricing and bartering may be profitable.
One bride-to-be advised the FT she negotiated down a marriage planner’s prices by a whole bunch of kilos after requesting a breakdown of what precisely they have been paying for. “We requested if there was a decrease tier of service, however she stated it was all tailor-made to the couple . . . we simply stated this was an excessive amount of for our funds.” They saved £500.
Others forgo traditions to economize. One groom we spoke to, who’s getting married this summer time, discovered a venue in Portugal for a lot lower than the London venues he and his fiancée have been . The standard of the foods and drinks is larger, he says, and he and his new spouse will go straight to their honeymoon.
“Including within the faff of everybody having to come back to London after which the expense of them staying in a London resort, it made sense to ask them to go to Portugal as an alternative — no extra faff than London, cheaper resorts, and a a lot nicer place,” he causes.
Reducing expectations can assist, too, as can making an attempt to disregard the concept a pair’s wedding ceremony is consultant of their relationship. “Why blow a lot effort on a single day, with all of the stresses, tantrums, and demanding kin,” says FT reader Simon Osborne, whose personal wedding ceremony included afternoon tea for 80 individuals. “It was over in two hours,” he provides.
{Couples} may look to Francis-Tan and Mialon’s conclusion for inspiration if they’re planning a small wedding ceremony. “Total, our findings present little proof to help the validity of the marriage business’s message connecting costly weddings with optimistic marital outcomes.”
There’s another choice that may save probably the most cash . . . don’t get married. The proportion of UK adults who’ve by no means married or been in a civil partnership has elevated each decade since 1991, rising to 38 per cent in 2021, in line with ONS figures based mostly on the final census.
Laura nonetheless plans to go forward together with her venue in December — and has negotiated one of many distributors all the way down to £9,000 for the meals (half the unique quote). But it surely nonetheless stings, she says.
“I discover it so onerous to swallow because it’s [just] sooner or later.”
